Develop a secure foundation --- personally and in relationships
Stage 0: If you want a beginning course in the Lasting Love Academy than this is perfect for you. You will learn how to confront your fears, avoid settling, identify liars, cheaters, manipulators and beaters, feel more secure and confident, and understand the anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment patterns.
In this series, you get access to nearly 100 articles, audios, and videos (for one year from the time of purchase).
Who created the Lasting Love Academy?
Alisa Goodwin Snell is a dating and relationship coach who spent 17 years as a marriage and family therapist. She's written seven books for singles, created numerous audios, videos, and articles, is a popular public speaker, and has been on over 100 TV and radio programs nationwide. Learn more.
Alisa's dating and relationship courses are outlined in a five-stage, skill-development program. Stage 0: Laying a solid foundation focuses on everything you need to know and do to create a secure foundation for you and your relationships (your purchase only includes Stage 0). Stage 1: The first six weeks of dating focuses on everything you need to get dates, manage rejection, avoid common dating traps, identify the potentially abusive and manipulative, create meaningful connections, and secure the interest of the opposite sex. Stage 2: Pre-exclusive focuses on helping you to have fun, get to know them better, ensure safety and compatibility, and establish trust before becoming exclusive. Stage 3: Creating secure attachments focuses on the essential steps and behaviors you and your partner will need to develop and maintain deep and secure connections or bridge communication issues. Stage 4: Solving problems as a couple focuses on essential and critical skills for resolving problems, repairing relationships, maintaining a high level of positives, and overcoming specific challenges that stress relationships. Stage 5: Engagement to Marriage prepares you for the upcoming issues and blessings of marriage, as well as ensuring sexual satisfaction and emotional fulfillment. See below for more details.
Is this a faith-friendly program?
Yes. Most singles struggle with many fears (such as not being good enough, rejection, failure, abandonment, being used, lied to cheated on, abused, or being unable to have what other's have, etc.). The best antidote to fear is faith in true principles. You will find it easier to create a secure attachment pattern if you're grounded to something lasting, such as faith in yourself, your future, the goodness of the opposite sex, and/or the love of God. If you struggle, like many other singles, to have faith in any or all of these, don't worry. This program will build on the faith that you have. This program is not a highly religious program. There are a few references to the Bible, and these are provided to demonstrate that God is a loving being who's invested in His children, their happiness, their relationships, and the success of their families. Anyone from a religious background (or not) that supports a loving view of God, and adherence to basic moral values, will find Alisa's faith-based principles to be in alignment with theirs. Since faith is the primary principle, Alisa is not attempting to pursued others to a particular religious affiliation. If you do not believe in God, focusing on the principles Alisa teaches and having faith in them will also have a powerful effect since all of her materials are grounded in real-life observations and foundational concepts from her years of education and experience as a dating coach and marriage counselor. Alisa is Christian who has confidence that all people can discern for themselves what feels true and right for them. It is Alisa's hope that Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, or any other spiritually-minded or morally-focused group will find her principles to be supportive of their values as they pursue lasting love.
How will Stage 0: Laying a solid foundation help you?
Do you find yourself doing most of the work in your relationships? Do you struggle to express your feelings, needs, or opinions? Do you analyze and worry about the best way to handle situations? Are you primarily concerned about getting and keeping a relationship?
Whether you're in a relationship or not, you need to understand that the person who cares the least controls the relationship; thus, when you feel an anxious attachment in your relationships, you usually feel quite powerless. It can be painful to be the one who cares the most, has the most invested, and is waiting for the other to engage. Such behaviors actively contribute to an insecure (but strong) attachment. If you are to break this pattern and gain the investment of the other person, you'll need to have a more secure foundation and confidence in yourself, your future, the opposite sex, God, or true principles--for the truth really can set you free. Those who feel and act secure get more respect, attention, affection, and investment from others. Stage 0 of the Lasting Love Academy will help you create this kind of secure foundation.
Do you rarely get excited about the people you're dating (or meet)? Are you consumed with fears of settling or being trapped in a relationship (even when you're with someone great)? Do you regularly question whether or not you want to be in this relationship? Are you typically the one who ends your relationships?
Many singles feel numb, stuck, trapped, and disconnected from their dating partners (or others in general). They may feel initial excitement when first dating (although many complain that they fall into relationships rather than actively choosing them), but within a few weeks or months they begin to feel passive and disinterested in the relationship and they don't know why. Small issues can quickly become deal breakers, but they linger for weeks and even months with indecision. If this describes you, you need to know you aren't alone. Many struggle with avoidant attachment issues and it's not because they don't care about their partner or that they prefer to be alone. As a matter of fact, this is the most common pattern Alisa sees in her practice: amazing men and women who either aren't dating or who date great people but just don't feel a connection and therefore can't commit. Four underlying causes are driving your disconnection, in spite of your best efforts and sincere intentions. Until you learn to manage and address these issues, nothing will change (especially your anxiety, doubt, and disconnection). You can have the confidence you need to be more active in dating, to power on (trusting that the process you're using will bring reliable and happy results for you and your dating partner), or to break up with confidence (knowing this relationship isn't right for you due to specific reasons). Stage 0 will help you lay a foundation for breaking your patterns, feeling stronger emotions, engaging fully, and increasing your chances for loving, and being loved.
Do you get caught in unhealthy, abusive, manipulative, unfaithful, or dishonest relationships? Do you have difficulty trusting your judgment? Do you fear getting into a relationship with someone who has a drug, alcohol, or sexual addiction?
Singles fears are often due to ignorance. They fear what they don't know or understand. They fear repeating patterns from their past and doubt they can break these patterns. They fear asking questions, and they fear getting answers they don't want to hear. Most of all, they fear that something is wrong with them, and if this is true then how can they trust their judgment. The good news is, you can discover those who would be liars, cheaters, manipulators, or beaters because such people can't help but reveal their issues through their lack of empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility (or E.S.P). If you know how to identify these warning signs, you can spot them in three dates or less (and definitely within four months). You can trust your judgment!! You can trust your future, the goodness of the opposites sex, and the reality of lasting love!
Are you plagued by concerns over whether you should stay or leave a relationship? Do you worry that you're too picky or not picky enough? Do you feel paralyzed by anxiety and feel relentless doubt about your attraction, compatibility, or what might be best for you (or them)? Do you linger in relationships but just can't find peace, progress, or break up? When you do break up are you relieved at first but weeks or months later feel paralyzed by longing and doubt once again. Do you feel like you keep putting your partners through a revolving door of commitment and doubt?
Most people don't plan on failing; they fail to plan. You do not need to linger in doubt. You can get a clear picture of what you're looking for and the skills you need to succeed. You can shed the pressure of people-pleasing and the distraction of the comparison trap. You can have the skills you need to choose your love and love your choice for a lifetime. There are four driving causes behind your doubts and fears, your indecision, or your fluctuating attachments and disconnections. You can break these patterns and have the peace and confidence you long for in your relationships!! Stage 0 will help you understand what you're experiencing and the essentials you need for breaking your patterns.
How long will you have access to this material?
Your membership is for a 1-year term, at which time you can renew your membership for a discounted price by contacting firstname.lastname@example.org.
Can you share this information with others?
The greatest compliment anyone can give Alisa is to share with others their appreciation and enjoyment of her ideas and content; however, we ask that you encourage others to purchase their own membership and that you do not share your login email or password with others without obtaining written permission from Alisa Goodwin Snell at email@example.com. If you are in a serious, exclusive relationship and would like your partner to have access to your account so that you both might improve your relationship skills, you may send a written request to Alisa Goodwin Snell to obtain permission at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please review all of our Rules for Participation | Copyright | Disclaimers as they spell out the terms, conditions, and consequences associated with sharing login emails and passwords or copyrighted materials with others, groups, or on the web.
Part 1: Do you have an anxious attachment pattern?
Part 2: Do you have an avoidant attachment pattern
Part 3: The one who cares the least has control
Part 4: What's making you anxious or avoidant?1. How anxiety drives attachment issues
2. Common thinking errors
4. Situational triggers and core fears
Part 5: Should I stay or should I go?
1. How anxiety affects relationships
2. Am I safe?
3. Are we compatible?
4. A.R.E. we secure with each other?
5. Am I taking personal responsibility?
6. Can we solve problems?
7. When to move to the next stage
Part 6: Becoming secure
1. Why E.S.P. matters in becoming secure
2. Fear and the truth that sets us free
3. Acting and feeling secure
Part 7: Becoming secure together
1. Am I safe?
2. Are we compatible?
3. Do we influence or manipulate each other?
4. Do we depend and rely on each other?
5. A.R.E. we available, responsive, and engaged?
6. How to become MASTERS versus DISASTERS at conflict?
Part 8: Calculating lost opportunity costs
1. Should you stay or should you go? Are you safe?
2. When the best is NOT the best
3. Common thinking errors
4. Essential ingredients for growing your relationships
5. How to choose your love and love your choice