DATE NIGHT: From DRAB to FAB

Implement these 5 WAYS TO MAKE A DATE FABULOUS and you'll be surprised by the results.

Whether you're single or married, date nights matter to women. A little effort to be alone with her and make her feel special can go a long way. Women thrive when they feel safe and secure, they want to be pursued and feel desired, and they long to be adored. However, they can also be turned off by men who are too nice and the secret to gaining their love is not through your efforts alone but also theirs. By unlocking these secrets to date night you'll find it's not hard to impress her, take the pressure off, get multiple dates (or a happier wife), and engage her more fully in the process too.

It's time to get your "A" game on! If you depend on talking over dinner every week your date nights may fall flat. There are 3 levels of bonding (minute 1:33), so if you want too make it meaningful for her, and fun for you, you need to put a little more creativity into the date. She'll love you for it.

Your dates will be memorable, if you make them:

1. new or novel (minute 5:20)
2. highly stimulating (minute 6:15)
3. frightening or intimidating (minute 7:00)
4. one-on-one (minute 8:03) (avoid the dangers of either of you being passive by creating a bucket list of fun things you want to do, passive=passionless)
5. mysterious or surprising (minute 10:55)

In order to implement these powerful tools for making a date memorable, offer her five categories of dates from which she can choose. Then surprise her with a date that fits the category or have her draw from a bag of date ideas, leaving her to wonder what she missed out on and curious about what the next date might bring.

These five categories include (minute 13:00):

• indoor athletic
• outdoor athletic
• indoor nonathletic
• outdoor nonathletic
• entertainment

Be sure to include food as a part of each of these dates. It's never good to risk that, despite both of your best efforts, she can't help become irritable or low energy (i.e. hangry=hungry+angry, LOL)

So let's jump in and have fun! Please post your date night ideas and success stories.

There are lots of ways I can help so check out the Lasting Love Academy to learn more. 

Sincerely,

Alisa Goodwin Snell, M.A. 

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Date ideas

Use these ideas to create a Bucket List of things you want to do over the next few months or year. If you are excited to do these you'll engage more fully in dating and begin to focus on having fun instead of worrying about what she's thinking (and vice versa). If the date falls flat, you'll be able to look at the experience as just an adventure and one in which fulfilled your Bucket List.  Having a Bucket List is also a great way to get her engaged, especially if she starts adding her own suggestions and putting effort into parts of the date. Best of all, it makes you seem like a man who is active, motivated, and fun (all of which are very attractive traits).

To make implementing these ideas easy and cost effective, do a google search for locations near you and checkout groupon.com to see if they have any discounts available.

Remember the goal is to make the date be at least one of the following: new or novel, highly stimulating, frightening or intimidating, one-on-one, or mysterious and surprising. If your date accomplishes several of these, you will definitely get her attention. And if you take care of the small details, such as bringing a coat, gloves, or a blanket in case she gets cold, her favorite snacks during a hike, or a soft cushion during a game, you'll really win her heart. Don't act too nice, but do act like your a classy guy who pays attention to the details. If you do this while acting strong and confident, she won't be the only one who's impressed (her friends will be talking about you too).

Indoor athletic

These activities can make the date feel more fun while also taking some of the pressure off so she feels able to relax and just get to know you. These dates are also highly stimulating. If she's never done these it makes them new and novel. And if they are a little frightening or intimidating for her, but you make the experience feel safe as you gently help and support her, you'll quickly gain bonus points.

racquetball,      wallyball,      bowling (with new rules),      miniature golf (with new rules),      paintball,      laser tag,     indoor skydiving in  a wind tunnel (IFLY),      indoor surfing (Flowrider),    ropes course,      rock climbing,      roller skating,      ice skating,       swimming,      yoga classes,      working out at the gym together,      ping pong,      playing pool,      going to an arcade and doing a dance off competition,      dance lessons,       dancing,      trampoline centers,      fun houses,     family fun centers   


Outdoor athletic

Planning these activities can be easier than you think. There are many recreation centers (as well as universities) that can rent equipment at affordable prices. And you won't need a truck to transport equipment if you visit a location that has onsite rentals.

hiking,     biking in the city or along river walks,      paddle boarding on a lake,     tennis,      boating,      water skiing or wake board,      skiing or snow boarding,       snow shoeing by moonlight,      kayaking,       canoeing,       horseback rides,      ATVing,      off-roading,       fishing,       shooting guns,      skeet shooting,      hunting,      exploring caves,       exploring a mine,      flying a kite,       renting Segways and exploring the city or a park,    soccer,      flag football,      frisbee,      frisbee golf,     tag,      water gun fights,     giant ball soccer games,      Knockerball,       basketball,      volleyball,      hitting a bucket of balls,      golf,      rollercoasters,      amusement parks,      water slides,     river rafting,       sledding,       ice blocking,      tubing,      jogging,      long walks,      biking or walking in local parks or along river walks,      Zip-lines,      race car tracks,      bumper cars,       hiking to local waterfalls (one date at a time until you've seen them all)   


Indoor nonathletic

Not everyone can do strenuous activities (or is interested in them).  Additionally, it's nice to have a variety of activites to create a more deverse experience together and capatalize on multiple ways to connect. Having a list of indoor activities is also useful for bad weather days. That being said, if you only do nonathletic activities you may find the other person feels less chemistry or excitement. Chemistry and attraction is enhanced by the release of serotonin, endorphins, and dopamines. So make sure you're considering the other person's needs and asking them what their preferences are from these lists.

art galleries,      museums,      train rides,      book stores or libraries (where you pick a book for the other person to read before the next date),         ceramic or paint classes (Color-Me-Mine),      cooking classes,       sewing classes,     aquariums,       planetariums,        games,      craft stores,      making stepping stones, pottery, or bird houses,      doing a painting together,       picking out or growing a new plant for your homes,       playing card or strategy games,      building a puzzle, model airplane, or ship together,      making dinner or desert together,      going shopping and pick out clothes for the other to try on,      exploring exotic foods at new restaurants,       visiting hole-in-the-wall restaurants or mom-and-pop shops,      visiting an expo center event or trade show,      visiting a pawn shop or antique store,      taking a class from a local hardware store,      taking a sewing class together,      teaching the other how to play an instrument,       visiting an animal shelter,     volunteering at a soup kitchen together,      picking out and then delivering flowers at a nursing home to someone who doesn't get many visitors,       buying a book on making animal balloons and giving them to kids at McDonald's,      going to a haunted house or a murder mystery event (such as Mystery Escape Room),      doing genealogy or family search together,      improv shows,     hypnotist shows,       Comicon or Fantasy Events,      Halloween or costume parties,       checking out local bands or going to local high, school or theater groups,       going to a taste testing event,         getting a couples massage 


Outdoor nonathletic

Nonathletic outdoor activities are a great way to add new sites, sounds, smells, and feelings to your date. Not evey date needs to be high energy. Leisure strolls with lots of visual stimulation can make for great conversations and help encourage sharing or vulnerability. 

outdoor concert series,      state or local fairs,      fireworks,       Renaissance festivals,       zoos,     petting zoos,        parades,      historical monuments,        sleigh rides,       searching for local food trucks (and trying each over a period of dates),      geocaching,       local botanical gardens,      astronomical society event,         stargazing and  constellation hunting,       roasting smores,          night time kite flying,        watching baseball, soccer, or football games (local or professional),       cooking by barbecue, tin-foil dinners, or dutch over,        car shows,        rodeos,      demolition derbys,        eating on a patio at a restaurant,       enjoying people watching at an outdoor mall or seating area,       playing games or feeding ducks at a local park,         going on a road trip up the mountain,        visiting state or national parks or monuments in your area (until you've seen them all),        bird watching or visiting a bird sanctuary,        doing outdoor photography of flowers, animals, or buildings,       going on a train ride,       visiting a lantern festival,       visiting a festival of colors,       motorcycle rides,       golf cart, Segway, or scooter rides,         renting a convertible and going for a scenic drive with the top down,         going to a beach and having a relaxing picnic
,       swap meets,        garage sales,      drive-in movies,       hot-tubbing,       thermal springs      

Entertainment

Although movies, plays, and even comedy shows can be highly entertaining interaction during the event can be difficult and even discouraged. People who talk during these events can be highly annoying and it could turn your date off if you try it. Entertainment can lead to shared emotional experiences and give interesting conversation afterward, but I recommend that you don't do entertainment too frequently. 

movies,       plays,        orchestras,       concerts,       dinner theater,         operas,        comedy show (check online for the shows content rating first so as to not make your date uncomfortable)

Long-distance dates

For those who need long-distance date ideas, try these.

Set up a one to two hour skype date, then send her a game, like battleships, that you can play during the date. Or you could order and pay for her favorite food to be ready at a specific time for her to pick up or to be delivered.  Do both and you'll really impress her. 

You could send each other a fun book that you want the other to read and then discuss during your next date.

You could also send each other Bucket List activities near them, of which you both need to take pictures and report back on the experience (such as taking a picture of something unique in their town).

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