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It's NOT YOU—It's Your Technique

10 Reasons You're Not Sustaining Relationships

Depending on which course you choose, the BLACK links below will take you to some or all of the solutions available within the Lasting Love Academy.

If you get attached too quickly, worry about keeping a date's attention, look for hidden meaning in conversations or texts, and fear to do something wrong, then you have an anxious attachment. 

The Lasting Love Academy will help you confront your fears and anxietiesdevelop a secure foundation, make peace with your imperfections, act with more confidence, and get more commitment and affection from your partner. 

You are meant to love and be loved and can obtain the commitment and investment you desire from others.

Unsure what's right for you, 

Testimonials and FAQs

If you feel less attraction for your partner, worry about their flaws, fear missing out on something better, or experience indifference even when they're amazing, then you have an avoidant attachment.

The Lasting Love Academy will explain what's driving your disconnection and irritation in relationships. You will increase your passion, take the pressure off, and have more fun. Making decisions will become easier. Increasing commitment and deepening your connection will feel less stressful, and your capacity to enjoy lasting love will grow step-by-step.

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Testimonials and FAQs

If you get stuck in the just-friends or good-for-now trap and are regularly told that you're too nice, then you need to secure more investment from others and speak up when they take you for granted. You don't need to give the best of you to those who don't invest in you, and having better boundaries will make others respect you.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you feel and act secureexpress your needs with confidence, and expose those who are bad news. You will avoid common dating traps and get more commitment, affection, and investment from others. 

The sooner you break these bad habits, the more successful you will be in other areas of life too. Instead of taking care of others (who need to be resolving their own problems), now is the time to invest in your success and happiness. If they truly care about you, they will support and encourage your efforts and respond to your needs.

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Testimonials and FAQs

If you struggle to maintain the attention of those you date, it is likely that you're sending push away or stalemate messages instead of clear invitations for closeness. Rather than effectively encouraging others, you're being too cool, distant, or busy, and leaving them to question your interest. The truth may be that you are shy, fear being vulnerable, or don't want to appear needy, but that isn't how they see it. Your failure to make them feel great makes them uncomfortable, and so they lose interest.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you express your interest in a confident, warm, and engaging way that encourages their investment. Knowing the best way to play your role will not only result in more relationships but greater confidence. You will learn how to be vulnerable and give the empathy that is needed for a good relationship while exercising the discretion and boundaries that expose bad relationships.  

You will learn the importance of being available, responsive, and emotionally engaged in creating secure attachments. As you communicate with consistent invitations for closeness, others will be drawn to you and act similarly. Not everyone will respond, but healthy skills have a high appeal to those with empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility.

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Testimonials and FAQs

If you value being honest, genuine, and authentic, you probably feel a responsibility to listen to, communicate about, and act on your emotions quickly. You don't want to force a relationships and waste your or a date's time. You see a lack of passion as a sign that you're with the wrong partner and believe that a relationship should be natural and easy.

You don't know why you rarely get excited about a potential date or quickly lose attraction and feel less into them. You fear you may be too picky, but you're more afraid of missing out on something better. You don't want to have regrets, and you're trying to be fair to everyone involved.

The Lasting Love Academy will explain what you're doing that's unintentionally preventing the passion you desire and what you can do instead. You will learn about the paradox of authenticity and how to reduce the anxiety, thinking errors, pressure, and situational triggers that are driving you to disconnect. The problem isn't the attractiveness, flaws, or weaknesses of your partner. You will understand how passivity makes you feel passionless and how sacrifice is deeply connected to love. 

With a reasonable amount of effort, you can overcome the barriers that hold you back from an amazing and passionate relationship and enjoy a lifetime of love!

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If you've been with partners who lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, beat, or abuse substances, you need to discover how and why you attract these relationships. In spite of your love and sacrifices, these individuals are the least likely to love you back. You do not need to tolerate their lack of investment or succumb to the good-for-now and too-nice traps that are wasting your time.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you identify the early warning signs of the abusive and manipulative. As you confront your fears and insecurities and express your feelings and needs, you will confidently walk away when others don't respond. You will not give the best of you to those who don't invest in you. After all, it is infinitely better to be happily single than miserably married to someone who lacks empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility. You can break the bad-boy and toxic-girl habit and learn to enjoy healthy chemistry with someone who values and invests in your happiness.

Lasting love isn't something that randomly happens for some and not others. It is created by those who choose good partners and develop the skills needed to maintain relationships. Thus, you can experience it too.

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If you're with someone you respect but aren't sure you want to be with, then you're probably staying because you think you should, and as such you're reacting to the relationship rather than choosing it. 

You may doubt your feelings, worry about possible issues, long for the passion you think others have, or obsess over past relationships, but you rarely share these thoughts. You secretly hope your partner will make the decision for you and end the relationship. Eventually, your lack of action and commitment often result in this outcome. If either of you doubts the decision and reaches back out, you tend to get stuck in an off-and-on-again pattern that lasts for months or years.  

The Lasting Love Academy will help you break this cycle. You will understand the common thinking errors that are driving your doubts, indecision, and passivity and what you can do instead. As a decision making and skill development model, the Lasting Love Academy has helped hundreds of singles resolve whether they should stay or go. If you advance to marriage, it will be with the confidence and passion you desire.

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Testimonials and FAQs

If you comment on what your date is doing wrong, talk negatively about your exes, express long-standing resentments over other's mistreatment, or justify, rationalize, and minimize your past behaviors, you will seem critical or manipulative.

Not only are these things unattractive but they make you seem difficult to please. Most of the time, this is due to poor dating and relationship techniques; however, it is also a reminder that you have issues you need to resolve more effectively.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you forgive yourself and others, take responsibility for your healing, build a healthy circle of trust, set better boundaries with those who have mistreated you, and improve your overall level of happiness. You will confront passive and aggressive behaviors while warmly influencing others to use better communication skills. You will avoid toxic communication and negotiate win/win solutions. These skills will benefit all your relationships, give you greater self-respect, and make others feel drawn to you.

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Testimonials and FAQs

If you suffer in silence rather than confronting issues and asserting your needs, then you will eventually withdraw, act passive, become aggressive, engage in secretive behavior, or resent your partner. This pattern is typical in those with both anxious and avoidant attachment styles. The anxiously attached may cling to their partner due to their dependence on the other, or the avoidantly attached may resist commitment, but in both cases, they fear and distrust the other, which often results in one of them sabotaging the relationship.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you assert your feelings and needs in a confident, warm, and clear way that facilitates a secure attachment, greater trust, and deeper passion for your partner. If they fail to respond, you will know what this means and how to react. The skills you learn will help your relationships develop better communication and resolve conflict effectively. You will understand what drives your destructive behaviors and what steps you can take to overcome them.

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Testimonials and FAQs

If you prematurely focus on your date's flaws, pressure your partner for commitment, or worry about future relationship problems, your interactions will become stressful rather than fun.

Love is about connection, not perfection. The Lasting Love Academy will show you how to live a real life, with a real person, and offer a real love. You can identify warning signs, assess compatibility, create a secure attachment, and handle problems as they occur, all while having fun.

As you focus on the skills taught in each of the five stages of dating, you will feel more confident, not worry about later stages, and enjoy the stage you're in. Your relationship will progress because they make sense and give you joy. And you will trust the future because you have the skills you need to succeed.

Unsure what's right for you, 

Testimonials and FAQs

Which Lasting Love Academy course is right for you?

If you struggle to date and are not currently in a relationship, then the Dating and Relationship Package would be the best fit for you. It is the only Lasting Love Academy program that includes all courses and books.

The Dating and Relationship Package includes:

A Dating box with four books for him or her: 

  • Single? It's Not You--It's Your Technique (255 pages)

  • Become Secure Workbook (140 pages)

  • Red-Flag Rulebook (92 pages)

  • It’s Just Technique (140 pages)

 

OR 

A one-year membership with access to ALL LASTING LOVE ACADEMY courses including:

  • Stage 0: Become Secure
  • Stage 1: Dating Skills (with online versions of the books and an audio reading of Single?)
  • Stage 2 to 5: Relationship Skills

totaling hundreds of articles and over 40 hours of audios and videos, all of which are mobile friendly.

and a

To know if the Dating and Relationship Package is right for you, take the following self-tests.

Do you need better dating skills?

  1. Do you struggle to get the attention of the opposite sex?  ____ Y/N
  2. Do you worry about how to approach others, start conversations, and ask for (or give ) a number?  ____ Y/N
  3. Do you fear appearing needy and desperate, embarrassing yourself, or being rejected?  ____ Y/N
  4. Do you want to date more attractive, confident, or successful singles?  ____ Y/N
  5. Do you get caught in the too-nice, just-friends, good-for-now, hanging-out, or texting traps?  ____ Y/N
  6. Do you worry about how to time and pace dates, appropriately manage affection, avoid sexual contact, date multiple people, identify early warning signs, and secure the attention of A-Listers?  ____ Y/N
  7. Do you struggle to make meaningful connections on dates?  ____ Y/N
  8. Do you struggle to get repeat dates or move relationships toward exclusivity and commitment?  ____ Y/N
  9. Do you fear define-the-relationship conversations?  ____ Y/N

If you answered yes to three or more of the questions above, then the dating advice found in the four books (that will be mailed to you) and the Lasting Love Academy courses will be well worth your investment. You will learn how to date more, date better, have fun, and secure commitment. 

Do you need better relationship skills?

  1. When in a relationship, do you feel self-conscious, anxious, and not good enough?  ____ Y/N
  2. Do you struggle to have difficult conversations, to ask hard questions, or discuss the relationship?  ____ Y/N
  3. Do you fear being rejected at the first sign of being needy or imperfect?  ____ Y/N
  4. When your partner tells you they love you, do you feel concerned because you aren't sure you can honestly say the same?  ____ Y/N
  5. Do you worry that problems in a relationship mean it's wrong or fatally flawed?  ____ Y/N
  6. Do you or your partner struggle with doubts about the other's commitment?  ____ Y/N
  7. Do you or your partner hold back, not engage fully, or ignore the needs of the relationship?  ____ Y/N
  8. Do you avoid introducing your partner to friends, family, or work colleges because you dread the questions or the pressure that may result?  ____ Y/N
  9. Do you or your partner struggle to depend upon, rely on, or need the other?  ____ Y/N
  10. Do you and your partner struggle to resolve issues, such as money, sex, religion, cultural differences, parenting, step-parenting, extended family, debt, education, career changes, etc.?  ____ Y/N
  11. Do you or your partner act manipulative, passive-aggressive, or aggressive?  ____ Y/N
  12. Are you fighting more, getting hung up on small issues, or feeling a desire to run away?  ____ Y/N 
  13. Do you find yourself doing most of the work in your relationships?  ____ Y/N
  14. Do you struggle to express your feelings, needs, or opinions?   ____ Y/N
  15. Do you analyze and worry about the best way to handle situations?  ____ Y/N
  16. Do you worry that the other person will become toxic, abusive, unfaithful, or addicted?   ____ Y/N
  17. Do you worry that you're too picky or not picky enough?  ____ Y/N
  18. Do you feel paralyzed by anxiety and feel relentless doubt about your attraction, compatibility, or what might be best for you (or them)?  ____ Y/N
  19. Are you typically the one who ends a relationship?  ____ Y/N
  20. Do you feel pressure to get married or break up? ____ Y/N

If you answered yes to five or more of the questions above, then the dating and relationship package will be well worth your investment. This skill-development program will help you resolve your doubts, improve your relationship, and make progress with more confidence than ever before. 

Do you need to become more secure?

Answer yes or no to the following questions.

  1. Do you find yourself doing most of the work in your relationships?  ____ Y/N
  2. Do you struggle to express your feelings, needs, or opinions?   ____ Y/N
  3. Do you analyze and worry about the best way to handle situations?  ____ Y/N
  4. Are you primarily concerned about getting and keeping a relationship?  ____ Y/N
  5. Do you rarely get excited about the people you're dating (or meet)?  ____ Y/N
  6. Are you consumed with fears of settling or being trapped in a relationship (even when you're with someone great)?  ____ Y/N
  7. Do you regularly question whether or not you want to be in your relationship?  ____ Y/N
  8. Are you typically the one who ends your relationships?  ____ Y/N
  9. Do you get caught in unhealthy, abusive, manipulative, unfaithful, or dishonest relationships?   ____ Y/N
  10. Do you have difficulty trusting your judgment?   ____ Y/N
  11. Do you fear to be with someone who has a drug, alcohol, or sexual addiction?  ____ Y/N
  12. Are you plagued by concerns over whether you should stay or leave a relationship?  ____ Y/N
  13. Do you worry that you're too picky or not picky enough?  ____ Y/N
  14. Do you feel paralyzed by anxiety and feel relentless doubt about your attraction, compatibility, or what might be best for you (or them)?  ____ Y/N
  15. Do you linger in relationships because it is difficult to feel peace, progress, or break up?  ____ Y/N
  16. When you break up are you relieved at first but then feel paralyzed by longing and doubt a few weeks later?   ____ Y/N
  17. Do you put your partners through a revolving door of commitment and doubt?  ____ Y/N

If you answered yes to five or more of the questions above, Stage 0 will help you to feel more secure, confident, and resolved about your decisions and relationships.

Unsure what's right for you, 

Testimonials and FAQs

The Relationship Package

includes a downloadable workbook

and a one-year membership to the Lasting Love Academy online courses of:

  • Stage 0: Become Secure
  • Stage 2 to 5: Relationship Skills

totaling hundreds of articles and over 20 hours of audios and videos, all of which are mobile friendly.

and a

This package is best for those who are already in a relationship or don't need dating advice. 

To know if the Relationship Package is right for you, take the following self-tests.

Do you need better relationship skills?

  1. When in a relationship, do you feel self-conscious, anxious, and not good enough?  ____ Y/N
  2. Do you struggle to have difficult conversations, to ask hard questions, or discuss the relationship?  ____ Y/N
  3. Do you fear being rejected at the first sign of being needy or imperfect?  ____ Y/N
  4. When your partner tells you they love you, do you feel concerned because you aren't sure you can honestly say the same?  ____ Y/N
  5. Do you worry that problems in a relationship mean it's wrong or fatally flawed?  ____ Y/N
  6. Do you or your partner struggle with doubts about the other's commitment?  ____ Y/N
  7. Do you or your partner hold back, not engage fully, or ignore the needs of the relationship?  ____ Y/N
  8. Do you avoid introducing your partner to friends, family, or work colleges because you dread the questions or the pressure that may result?  ____ Y/N
  9. Do you or your partner struggle to depend upon, rely on, or need the other?  ____ Y/N
  10. Do you and your partner struggle to resolve issues, such as money, sex, religion, cultural differences, parenting, step-parenting, extended family, debt, education, career changes, etc.?  ____ Y/N
  11. Do you or your partner act manipulative, passive-aggressive, or aggressive?  ____ Y/N
  12. Are you fighting more, getting hung up on small issues, or feeling a desire to run away?  ____ Y/N 
  13. Do you find yourself doing most of the work in your relationships?  ____ Y/N
  14. Do you struggle to express your feelings, needs, or opinions?   ____ Y/N
  15. Do you analyze and worry about the best way to handle situations?  ____ Y/N
  16. Do you worry that the other person will become toxic, abusive, unfaithful, or addicted?   ____ Y/N
  17. Do you worry that you're too picky or not picky enough?  ____ Y/N
  18. Do you feel paralyzed by anxiety and feel relentless doubt about your attraction, compatibility, or what might be best for you (or them)?  ____ Y/N
  19. Are you typically the one who ends a relationship?  ____ Y/N
  20. Do you feel pressure to get married or break up? ____ Y/N

If you answered yes to five or more of the questions above, then the dating and relationship package will be well worth your investment. This skill-development program will help you resolve your doubts, improve your relationship, and make progress with more confidence than ever before. 

Do you need to become more secure?

Answer yes or no to the following questions.

  1. Do you find yourself doing most of the work in your relationships?  ____ Y/N
  2. Do you struggle to express your feelings, needs, or opinions?   ____ Y/N
  3. Do you analyze and worry about the best way to handle situations?  ____ Y/N
  4. Are you primarily concerned about getting and keeping a relationship?  ____ Y/N
  5. Do you rarely get excited about the people you're dating (or meet)?  ____ Y/N
  6. Are you consumed with fears of settling or being trapped in a relationship (even when you're with someone great)?  ____ Y/N
  7. Do you regularly question whether or not you want to be in your relationship?  ____ Y/N
  8. Are you typically the one who ends your relationships?  ____ Y/N
  9. Do you get caught in unhealthy, abusive, manipulative, unfaithful, or dishonest relationships?   ____ Y/N
  10. Do you have difficulty trusting your judgment?   ____ Y/N
  11. Do you fear to be with someone who has a drug, alcohol, or sexual addiction?  ____ Y/N
  12. Are you plagued by concerns over whether you should stay or leave a relationship?  ____ Y/N
  13. Do you worry that you're too picky or not picky enough?  ____ Y/N
  14. Do you feel paralyzed by anxiety and feel relentless doubt about your attraction, compatibility, or what might be best for you (or them)?  ____ Y/N
  15. Do you linger in relationships because it is difficult to feel peace, progress, or break up?  ____ Y/N
  16. When you break up are you relieved at first but then feel paralyzed by longing and doubt a few weeks later?   ____ Y/N
  17. Do you put your partners through a revolving door of commitment and doubt?  ____ Y/N

If you answered yes to five or more of the questions above, Stage 0 will help you to feel more secure, confident, and resolved about your decisions and relationships.

Unsure what's right for you, 

Testimonials and FAQs

BECOME SECURE 

is a good beginner course for those who are ensure about their readiness to date or be in a relationship.

it includes a downloadable workbook

and a one-year membership to the Become Secure articles and audios, all of which are mobile friendly.

and a

To know if this Lasting Love Academy course is right for you, take the following self-test. 

Do you need to become more secure?

Answer yes or no to the following questions.

  1. Do you find yourself doing most of the work in your relationships?  ____ Y/N
  2. Do you struggle to express your feelings, needs, or opinions?   ____ Y/N
  3. Do you analyze and worry about the best way to handle situations?  ____ Y/N
  4. Are you primarily concerned about getting and keeping a relationship?  ____ Y/N
  5. Do you rarely get excited about the people you're dating (or meet)?  ____ Y/N
  6. Are you consumed with fears of settling or being trapped in a relationship (even when you're with someone great)?  ____ Y/N
  7. Do you regularly question whether or not you want to be in your relationship?  ____ Y/N
  8. Are you typically the one who ends your relationships?  ____ Y/N
  9. Do you get caught in unhealthy, abusive, manipulative, unfaithful, or dishonest relationships?   ____ Y/N
  10. Do you have difficulty trusting your judgment?   ____ Y/N
  11. Do you fear to be with someone who has a drug, alcohol, or sexual addiction?  ____ Y/N
  12. Are you plagued by concerns over whether you should stay or leave a relationship?  ____ Y/N
  13. Do you worry that you're too picky or not picky enough?  ____ Y/N
  14. Do you feel paralyzed by anxiety and feel relentless doubt about your attraction, compatibility, or what might be best for you (or them)?  ____ Y/N
  15. Do you linger in relationships because it is difficult to feel peace, progress, or break up?  ____ Y/N
  16. When you break up are you relieved at first but then feel paralyzed by longing and doubt a few weeks later?   ____ Y/N
  17. Do you put your partners through a revolving door of commitment and doubt?  ____ Y/N

If you answered yes to five or more of the questions above, Stage 0 will help you to feel more secure, confident, and resolved about your decisions and relationships.

Unsure what's right for you, 

Testimonials and FAQs

BECOME SECURE

$49.95

A beginner course that includes

CORE CONCEPTS

Does not include dating and relationship techniques.

START NOW!

DATING AND RELATIONSHIP PACKAGE

$35-$195

A complete program that includes

4 BOOKS, CORE CONCEPTS, and ALL DATING and RELATIONSHIP TECHNIQUES

GET EVERYTHING!

(choose one)

$245 for international purchases

6 PAYMENTS OF $35

RELATIONSHIP PACKAGE

$95

An advanced program that includes

CORE CONCEPTS and RELATIONSHIP TECHNIQUES

Ideal for those who are either in a relationship or don't need dating advice. 

START NOW!

 Alisa Goodwin Snell, M.A. 

  • author of seven books, numerous audios and videos, the It’s Not You—It’s Your Technique dating system, and the Lasting Love Academy courses
  • popular public speaker
  • guest on over 100 TV and radio programs nationwide
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Frequently Asked Questions

After choosing your payment option, you will be granted immediate access to the Lasting Love Academy. If you purchased, the Dating and Relationship Package, your books will arrive within a few days. As long as your books are gently used with no writing or marks, you can return them and terminate your membership for a full refund of your purchase. All membership refunds are dependent upon Alisa Snell, at [email protected], receiving a written request with "Refund" in the subject and your full name and email in the message.

Those living outside of the United States will receive a full refund, minus the cost of shipping. 

Although it is assumed that all singles will benefit from the concepts taught, individual results may vary. The Lasting Love Academy does not guarantee a specific outcome.

Many singles have offered testimonials about the Lasting Love Academy and clients have provided coaching reviews. Click these links to read what they have to say.

Most singles struggle with fears (such as not being good enough, rejection, failure, abandonment, being lied to, cheated on, and abused, or not having what other's experience). The Lasting Love Academy encourages singles to combat these fears with faith in themselves, their future, the goodness of the opposite sex, and religious or spiritual practices that support confidence in a loving God. The importance of empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility in relationships is taught. These values tend to align with most individuals and religions. Although Alisa Goodwin Snell's spiritual beliefs are briefly mentioned, the Lasting Love Academy is meant to be supportive of all religions.

If you struggle, like many singles, to have faith in spirituality or God, don't worry. This program will build on the faith that you have, or if you prefer simply ignore the principles of faith. 

The underlying concepts taught by the Lasting Love Academy should work universally among a wide variety of diverse populations. However, there are many dating differences between heterosexual, LGBTQ, and other social or cultural groups. The dating techniques taught in Stage 1: Dating Skills and in the Lasting Love Academy books, Single? and It's Just Technique were created and tested in a heterosexual and conservative population with traditional gender values.

Therefore, some singles (including those from LGBTQ, liberal, or other cultural backgrounds) may need to adapt the dating techniques to fit their specific culture or gender roles. The Lasting Love Academy emphasizes the importance of, and benefits that come, when individuals and couples exercise empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility. Those who appreciate these core values will find the Lasting Love Academy to be beneficial.

If you question whether the Lasting Love Academy would fit your needs, schedule a FREE CONSULT to discuss your situation and the best way to proceed.

If within 30-day you do not find the dating techniques are suitable to your situation, feel free to return them for a refund (as outlined under the 30-day guarantee).

 

The terms and conditions are available at the bottom of this page but can also be accessed through the following links.

Rules for participation apply Conditions | Copyright | Disclaimers Fee Agreement | Refunds | Product Issues Terms of Use Privacy

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