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It's NOT YOU—It's Your Technique

10 Reasons You're Not Sustaining Relationships

Depending on which course you choose, the BLACK links below will take you to some or all of the solutions available within the Lasting Love Academy.

If you get attached too quickly, worry about keeping a date's attention, look for hidden meaning in conversations or texts, and fear to do something wrong, then you have an anxious attachment. 

The Lasting Love Academy will help you confront your fears and anxieties, develop a secure foundation, make peace with your imperfections, act with more confidence, and get more commitment and affection from your partner. 

You are meant to love and be loved and can obtain the commitment and investment you desire from others.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you feel less attraction for your partner, worry about their flaws, fear missing out on something better, or experience indifference even when they're amazing, then you have an avoidant attachment.

The Lasting Love Academy will explain what's driving your disconnection and irritation in relationships. You will increase your passion, take the pressure off, and have more fun. Making decisions will become easier. Increasing commitment and deepening your connection will feel less stressful, and your capacity to enjoy lasting love will grow step-by-step.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you get stuck in the just-friends or good-for-now trap and are regularly told that you're too nice, then you need to secure more investment from others and speak up when they take you for granted. You don't need to give the best of you to those who don't invest in you, and having better boundaries will make others respect you.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you feel and act secure, express your needs with confidence, and expose those who are bad news. You will avoid common dating traps and get more commitment, affection, and investment from others. 

The sooner you break these bad habits, the more successful you will be in other areas of life too. Instead of taking care of others (who need to be resolving their own problems), now is the time to invest in your success and happiness. If they truly care about you, they will support and encourage your efforts and respond to your needs.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you struggle to maintain the attention of those you date, it is likely that you're sending push away or stalemate messages instead of clear invitations for closeness. Rather than effectively encouraging others, you're being too cool, distant, or busy, and leaving them to question your interest. The truth may be that you are shy, fear being vulnerable, or don't want to appear needy, but that isn't how they see it. Your failure to make them feel great makes them uncomfortable, and so they lose interest.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you express your interest in a confident, warm, and engaging way that encourages their investment. Knowing the best way to play your role will not only result in more relationships but greater confidence. You will learn how to be vulnerable and give the empathy that is needed for a good relationship while exercising the discretion and boundaries that expose bad relationships.  

You will learn the importance of being available, responsive, and emotionally engaged in creating secure attachments. As you communicate with consistent invitations for closeness, others will be drawn to you and act similarly. Not everyone will respond, but healthy skills have a high appeal to those with empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you value being honest, genuine, and authentic, you probably feel a responsibility to listen to, communicate about, and act on your emotions quickly. You don't want to force a relationships and waste your or a date's time. You see a lack of passion as a sign that you're with the wrong partner and believe that a relationship should be natural and easy.

You don't know why you rarely get excited about a potential date or quickly lose attraction and feel less into them. You fear you may be too picky, but you're more afraid of missing out on something better. You don't want to have regrets, and you're trying to be fair to everyone involved.

The Lasting Love Academy will explain what you're doing that's unintentionally preventing the passion you desire and what you can do instead. You will learn about the paradox of authenticity and how to reduce the anxiety, thinking errors, pressure, and situational triggers that are driving you to disconnect. The problem isn't the attractiveness, flaws, or weaknesses of your partner. You will understand how passivity makes you feel passionless and how sacrifice is deeply connected to love. 

With a reasonable amount of effort, you can overcome the barriers that hold you back from an amazing and passionate relationship and enjoy a lifetime of love!

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you've been with partners who lie, cheat, steal, manipulate, beat, or abuse substances, you need to discover how and why you attract these relationships. In spite of your love and sacrifices, these individuals are the least likely to love you back. You do not need to tolerate their lack of investment or succumb to the good-for-now and too-nice traps that are wasting your time.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you identify the early warning signs of the abusive and manipulative. As you confront your fears and insecurities and express your feelings and needs, you will confidently walk away when others don't respond. You will not give the best of you to those who don't invest in you. After all, it is infinitely better to be happily single than miserably married to someone who lacks empathy, self-control, and personal responsibility. You can break the bad-boy and toxic-girl habit and learn to enjoy healthy chemistry with someone who values and invests in your happiness.

Lasting love isn't something that randomly happens for some and not others. It is created by those who choose good partners and develop the skills needed to maintain relationships. Thus, you can experience it too.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you're with someone you respect but aren't sure you want to be with, then you're probably staying because you think you should, and as such you're reacting to the relationship rather than choosing it. 

You may doubt your feelings, worry about possible issues, long for the passion you think others have, or obsess over past relationships, but you rarely share these thoughts. You secretly hope your partner will make the decision for you and end the relationship. Eventually, your lack of action and commitment often result in this outcome. If either of you doubts the decision and reaches back out, you tend to get stuck in an off-and-on-again pattern that lasts for months or years.  

The Lasting Love Academy will help you break this cycle. You will understand the common thinking errors that are driving your doubts, indecision, and passivity and what you can do instead. As a decision making and skill development model, the Lasting Love Academy has helped hundreds of singles resolve whether they should stay or go. If you advance to marriage, it will be with the confidence and passion you desire.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you comment on what your date is doing wrong, talk negatively about your exes, express long-standing resentments over other's mistreatment, or justify, rationalize, and minimize your past behaviors, you will seem critical or manipulative.

Not only are these things unattractive but they make you seem difficult to please. Most of the time, this is due to poor dating and relationship techniques; however, it is also a reminder that you have issues you need to resolve more effectively.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you forgive yourself and others, take responsibility for your healing, build a healthy circle of trust, set better boundaries with those who have mistreated you, and improve your overall level of happiness. You will confront passive and aggressive behaviors while warmly influencing others to use better communication skills. You will avoid toxic communication and negotiate win/win solutions. These skills will benefit all your relationships, give you greater self-respect, and make others feel drawn to you.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you suffer in silence rather than confronting issues and asserting your needs, then you will eventually withdraw, act passive, become aggressive, engage in secretive behavior, or resent your partner. This pattern is typical in those with both anxious and avoidant attachment styles. The anxiously attached may cling to their partner due to their dependence on the other, or the avoidantly attached may resist commitment, but in both cases, they fear and distrust the other, which often results in one of them sabotaging the relationship.

The Lasting Love Academy will help you assert your feelings and needs in a confident, warm, and clear way that facilitates a secure attachment, greater trust, and deeper passion for your partner. If they fail to respond, you will know what this means and how to react. The skills you learn will help your relationships develop better communication and resolve conflict effectively. You will understand what drives your destructive behaviors and what steps you can take to overcome them.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

If you prematurely focus on your date's flaws, pressure your partner for commitment, or worry about future relationship problems, your interactions will become stressful rather than fun.

Love is about connection, not perfection. The Lasting Love Academy will show you how to live a real life, with a real person, and offer a real love. You can identify warning signs, assess compatibility, create a secure attachment, and handle problems as they occur, all while having fun.

As you focus on the skills taught in each of the five stages of dating, you will feel more confident, not worry about later stages, and enjoy the stage you're in. Your relationship will progress because they make sense and give you joy. And you will trust the future because you have the skills you need to succeed.

Discover What Others Are Saying, read Raving Reviews, and check out our FAQs.

 Alisa Goodwin Snell, M.A. 

  • author of seven books, numerous audios and videos, the It’s Not You—It’s Your Technique dating system, and the Lasting Love Academy courses
  • popular public speaker
  • guest on over 100 TV and radio programs nationwide
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